OK, it's me Hilary... Sorry I haven't had the chance to write on this thing yet but my amazing husband usually has the laptop, and when he doesn't, I don't feel like writing. Tom has been urging me to share my heart to make the blog more “teamy”. So here is my world, enjoy.
It seems like my heart is always waiting for something. When I was single, it was waiting for “the one” then once I found the one, it was waiting for our wedding day. Then waiting to be pregnant, then waiting for the baby to come. Waiting to transition into a home. Then there's constantly small things to wait for: birthdays, special holidays, anniversary, visits from friends and family, special trips.
Right now I am in the waiting for our second child to come. In this place I've been trying to wait on the Lord daily because I'm finding it's the only thing that strengthens me physically and spiritually. I've been camping in Psalm 27:14, Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!
This particular day it was hard to wait on the Lord I was distracted with things that have to be done, and then thinking I'm not worthy to be in His presence and so on, then I refocus and read the verse again, “be of good courage.” Of course, it takes courage to sit before the Lord because we have to be so vulnerable! But hey, He sees everything anyways right? So why not just wait on Him, then I read, “He shall strengthen your heart!” That is what we get just waiting on him, we receive strength deep within our heart. It's like healing for me, because as I sit there I see all my icky-ness all my sin life and self seeking flash before me and it's like it's coming to the surface and He truly cleanses that part of me and strengthens my heart, He is so good to us!
There it is again! And now it says, “all you who hope in the Lord”, this is what we are doing when we wait on Him, we are hoping in Him!
The other day I was feeling weary, just weary in the waiting for this baby to come and all the other transitions I'm waiting for. I was talking with the Lord saying, “I don't like being weary in the waiting, HELP!” He took me to Psalm 33:20-22, Our soul waits for the LORD; He is our help and our shield. For our heart shall rejoice in Him, Because we have trusted in His holy name. Let Your mercy, O LORD, be upon us, Just as we hope in You.
Then it hit me, the real thing I am waiting for is His return! This should be joyous not wearisome. The words that stuck out to me were: wait, rejoice, trust, and hope. Then I realized that our soul is waiting for Him and in the waiting our heart shall rejoice because He is our reward He is who we are waiting for and it is worth the wait, we shouldn't grow weary in the waiting but we should be rejoicing that we get to be with Him one day. So in the waiting we learn to trust in His holy name and to hope in Him. When we are tired and discouraged just turning and saying, "I bless your name Lord, I hope in you." is a way of keeping our eyes set on eternity.
"Grace to you all as we wait!"