My prayer has been sustain me and refresh me oh God. Honestly it has been a rough season for me lately. It's freezing here and we've had snow for forever now. Our car isn't always starting only some days depending on how cold it is. We all got sick and then I just ran out of strength to keep it together. I've been seeing my weaknesses, my heart struggles, and realizing I really can't live this life on my own, I can't do it without God. I can't control everything and that life isn't always going to look the way I want it to look like. So this week has been a real turning point for me as I have had to be honest with myself, with Tom and with the Lord that I've been trying to do things my own way and not His way. Yikes that is a scary reality. I realized I've pulled a little bit away from God. I've been doing my normal bible reading each morning, praying through out the day and with the kids and Tom but still in my heart I just wasn't being honest with the Lord. So yesterday as I was making breakfast I had the webstream on in the kitchen, which is my favorite thing to do in the mornings. So I'm stirring the oatmeal and the worship leader starts singing " There's someone in here that has pulled back from the Lord just a little bit, something has caused you to doubt, to question His goodness. There's a pain inside that He wants to touch this morning." That is when I lost it and just wept and wept in the kitchen. He was speaking right to me! I had pulled back I had doubted His goodness and I had pain. Then the worship leader sang "Do not loose heart, do not grow weary of doing good, don't pull back, don't abandon your goals you set before me to be a woman filled with the word of God. Keep going, keep pressing, keep believing. The wind of the Spirit, the breath of God will sustain you!" Just what I wanted to hear, and I felt Him, I felt Him in my kitchen ministering to my heart. I felt Him refreshing me and sustaining me! I just love those God moments, I needed that refreshing! Just felt like someone else needed to hear this and to be reminded that He sees you, He hears your cry and He will sustain you, He will come to you and He is good! He loves you!
~Be blessed today, Hilary!